Life drawing

In a recent bid to get myself out of the house more often, I decided to go to Life Drawing lessons with a friend of mine.  It's been some time since I sat in front of a naked person (with the intention of drawing them), so I wasn't sure what to expect.  

At previous classes, the model has been in the middle of a large room, with plenty of personal space for everyone.  This session was rather more intimate and my low chair meant my line of vision was, shall we say...unfortunate.  

Funnily enough, and without consciously deciding to, I managed to omit all traces of genitalia from my sketches.  It wasn't until I started to draw the scenario in cartoon format that I realised what I'd done.    Anyway - I've just spent most of the day drawing this strip instead of doing my tax returns. 

Cat in window

My friend walks past my house most mornings as she takes her daughters to school.  And most mornings my cat spends the hour between 8.00 and 9.00am gazing dreamily out of the window, gawping at passersby.  Recently, one of my friend's daughters said she saw 'fatty' (yes that's his name) smiling at her.

I pondered this for a time - perhaps it is like the question - 'do bears S*** in the woods'? We know they probably do, but we never see it happen.  So I reckon my cat does smile at the children as they pass by, but only briefly and not while the parents are looking.

I have attempted a cartoon strip that illustrates how I think it happens... It needs some work, but here is the first attempt.

Fat Club

So, pretty much every woman in history has at some point, looked down at their belly and thought to themselves..."Crikey! Where the hell did that come from?!!"

I am no different...and so with the new year spread out before me, I, along with a gazillion other women have given up my 'syns' and taken solace in group therapy for fat people. Yes, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Fat Burners R Us...whatever you want to call it...January is the signal for women the world over to wave their carrot sticks and commence the annual battle of the bulge.

This is the first time I have tried 'group therapy', partly because I was bored one evening and partly because maybe, just maybe it might work. At the very least it is a delight for the 'people-watcher' within me. Who are these people confessing their deepest, darkest feeding habits to a room full of strangers?!

Our leader says:
"and so how did you do this week Betty?"
Betty (this is not her real name):
"well for the first two days everything was going well, then my grandson had a birthday party and my daughter left me alone in the room with the chocolate cake...I ate it all"

The group make a collective "aaaah" sound and there are several nods of 'we understand your pain'.

The Leader:
"don't worry Betty, you had a blip, we all do from time to time. Now you just need to get back on the band wagon and start again"

A round of applause follows

I think to myself - this is just like Alcoholic Anonymous, but for fat people. "hello everyone, my name is X and I am an overeater".

There is no doubt that the support of a group is beneficial to some people. Last week I lent over to chat to a girl and asked her how she had done this week...'not bad she said'...I pry a little deeper to find that she's lost 5stone in less than 10 months and is the Slimming World Woman of the year! Well if that isn't inspiration, then I don't know what is.

I think this particular group which is heavily weighted (excuse the pun) to the over 50s is seen as a social event. I plonked myself down next to a smiley woman the other week and got into the usual chit chat: 'how did you do this week?' , 'Really! That's great news - you lost half a pound!' I could probably relieve myself and lose half a pound but we still congratulate each other on the effort and she starts offering me tips and advice. It turns out this woman has been coming to the group since 1996 and I wonder whether it has taken 16 years to lose the half pound.

I suppose I have to admit that each week I find myself anxiously awaiting the results of my 'weigh in' and secretly hoping it is more than two pounds so I can 'announce it' to the group and revel in the applause. This week was a bit disappointing, maybe I should have gone to the loo before I went...

10 reasons not to work from home

1. Even if you start out with good intentions, at some point down the line, you'll develop a habit of waking up with just enough time to have a cup of tea and catch the end of the breakfast news before dragging yourself upstairs to start work...in your pyjamas.
2. Your world gets progressively smaller. Every time you leave the house it's as though you've entered another universe (one with people and talking) - even going to the supermarket becomes a mini adventure.
3. You find yourself daydreaming, talking to inanimate objects, pets or your own reflection for a bit of company. Sometimes you'll call people for no reason except to hear a voice. Then, when your other half gets home (most likely in need of peace and quiet), you develop verbal diarrhoea.
   
4. Physical activity becomes limited to reaching for the on/off button of your computer and walking up and down the stairs to yet another cup of tea or in my case coffee.
   
5. Housework can actually be a distraction.
6. Retired people (and your other half) think you don't really have a job - you're 'in' so surely you are available at short notice to drive them to the airport, wait for a package or nip to the shop for a birthday card.
   
7. Your home becomes your work and your work becomes your home until you don't know if you're having a breakfast meeting or just breakfast. That 'and-relaaaax' feeling you get when you leave the office at the end of the day is non-existent.
   
8. You start to dream up conspiracy theories - 'everyone hates you', 'you're going to get fired' or 'I'm sure they're all having a meeting without me'. Then, as the paranoia sets in, you become too scared to leave your desk and your computer in case someone calls or sends you an email to which you must respond immediately, or get the chop.
9. Day time telly sucks (of course I only watch it over lunch, and naturally Facebook, Twitter and the like are reserved for breaks...).
   
10. The line between sanity and insanity becomes very, very thin...which is probably why I feel compelled to write a blog and draw pictures of me fighting zombies with a cat for a sidekick.

My friend Newt is gathering quite a following. He doesn't know it but he isn't actually a Newt and no-one dares tell him that. He's happy as he is and you can follow him on twitter @newtydanewt. He often moves between Wales and England so I have drawn him a flag for both countries so he can display either/or, depending on where he is.

Welsh Newt:
English Newt:

Quick roundup

So, really? Five years?!!!! has it been that long since I posted? Well without boring you all, here is a brief round up as I re-invigorate my love for drawing and ranting and generally talking nonsense:

• The rabbits are deceased. Flopsy caught the lurgy and had to be put down and Clive met an untimely end when he tried to chat to a fox.
  
• After a lot of begging, I was finally allowed to have two replacement pets - cats - one of whom died of acute kidney failure, the other who is the bain of my life, is over-weight and irritates me to death - but I still love him.
• I had a brief stint in a design studio but couldn't hack the pressure of trying to please someone else when our artistic ideas were so different. Art is subjective and my ego isn't big enough for the big bad design world. So now I only draw and design on my own terms - or when some nice person decides to pay me.
  
• After my failed attempt at being a full time designer, a friend helped me out and now I am a project manager and work from home. It's not my favourite job as I miss the office gossip over a cup of coffee and the day-to-day commute which is ripe for observational drawing and writing. To top that off, I'm turning slightly insane with no one to talk to except the cat for the best part of the week.
• The other half is still around but works loooong hours and spends most of her time driving between hospitals. She's working her way up the ladder...and surely the end is in sight. Consultancy is but 15 months away...we hope.
• I have become an aunty!
  

So, now my new found enthusiasm for telling the world my inner most thoughts has officially been announced, here endeth my first post of 2012.